I don't know what I have done to deserve this.
I am covered in mosquito bites and they keep on swarming. Everytime they seem ready to die off, there is a horribly rainy day and another three days of heat and sun that brings them all back, these mutant giant blood sucking vampires from hell. I swear, if God is trying to send us a message, I wish he'd be more direct. This plague crap is just unfair to the rest of us who didn't enslave a people, exploit the poor, kill enmasse, or invent aerosol cooking spray flavored like "butter". What did *I* do?
My son went outside yesterday for a mere three minutes and within that tiny moment of freedom acquired five fresh egg-sized lumps on his head...looks like he got in a fist fight with an anvil. He is happy as a lark mind you, but lumpy, and oh so itchy. Poor little bumpy-lumpy peanut, even three layers of Off and citronella doesn't keep these bugs away. Evil I tell you.
I have never in my life prayed for winter before, and just now I am thinking let the cold and ice begin. For the love of GOD, where is the cold when you need it.
Damn myself for loving Aquanet so much in grade seven; how was I to know the consequences of big hair would lead to a melting Ozone and eventually giant blood consuming insects that would try to eat my baby? Damn you Vidal Sasson and your 80s "wings", look at what you've done to us!